By J.P. Dahdah, Founder & CEO of Vantage
Money has been around for thousands of years.
From the earliest use of metal coins to today’s advanced markets, money has long served as a representation of value. Because of this, our beliefs about money aren’t typically about dollars and cents—it’s about what it represents.
Money is about status, access, comfort, freedom, interdependence, trust, loyalty, betrayal, and much more. Money is often tied to our sense of self-worth and our feelings of power and powerlessness. Financial success serves as proof that we’re “worth something.” Financial failure can feel like we’ve failed at life itself and that we’ll never get out of the hole.
These narratives enter our lives at an early age and can develop into impactful stories about who we are and how we live. If we witnessed our father get laid off, fall into depression and drink, and then be berated by our mother for it, our ideas about success, failure, and vulnerability are going to be tied to that experience. If we had less money than our friends growing up, we might always have a chip on our shoulder about needing to prove our worth. If we were raised in an affluent family and marry someone who was not, we may not even realize why financial discussions are so difficult for our partner. The list goes on. And, by the way, all of this is true for friendships, siblings, roommates, and colleagues.
Why does our relationship with money feel emotionally heavy?
Because we live with the belief that we could always be making more and that having more is better. We idolize the wealthy and the homes, cars, vacations, and clothes they show us on social media. We live with the stigma that people who have a lot of debt have weak character.
We live in a society that places high value on financial success even though it’s also a society that makes attaining financial security difficult for the majority of Americans.
These emotions can limit our ability to make forward progress. In order to maintain a healthier relationship with money, it’s important to stay curious and establish a habit of evaluating what financial security represents for you.
Ask yourself the following money questions to help you gain a better understanding of your current relationship with money.
1. What does having money mean to you?
2. What does it mean to be good with money?
3. Did your family talk about money growing up?
4. On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate how well you invest your money?
5. What is your biggest investment regret or mistake?
6. What’s one money habit you admire about yourself?
7. Do you prefer to invest your money in the stock market or the private market?
Remember that to have a better relationship with money, it’s important to stay curious about how your life experiences impact how you make money moves.
Happy investing!